This is how to find a partner in 2020

Set a goal, get out of your comfort zone, determine what is important for you and what is not - and get yourself ready for dating. Not just once, but many times - because you need to get out there and meet new people. That is what these 5 points are all about. Have a great time - and Happy New Year!

1. Engage constructively

Can you name differences between a hope and a goal? Think about it for a while. When you hope for something, you probably dream about it, cross your fingers, send prayers out to the universe and look for a four-leaf clover in the grass. Not momentarily of course, but you do believe that the future is about to bring you something worth waiting for.

And it's all just right because it keeps up the courage and contributes to an optimistic viewpoint on life. But if you have set a goal - you won't achieve it by dreaming. Instead, you will achieve it only by taking action. If you’re planning on completing a half marathon, then you’ll probably start training, because you know it will otherwise be unachievable.

Finding a partner this year - is it your dream or your goal?

Prioritize your dating, update your profile, get inspired by our numerous articles, and get concrete about it. Make space for some new people and new experiences in your life. Learn to open up and adopt this New Year Resolution - less NO'es and more YES'es.

2. Let your guard down

Having a healthy skepticism and not falling for anything or anyone surely makes a perfect sense. But there's a thin line of becoming too skeptical and selective, which can lead you to miss out on some great opportunities. Maybe it's just the right time to let your guard down? And do something other than usual at the same time? It's easy to get stuck in your daily routine by doing the same thing day by day. Let that same old routine slip away and jump into something brand new. Book some events in your calendar, sign up for something, and first and foremost - start dating. It might be a smart trick to pretend that you aren’t really dating at all, but just getting to know the person, like it was your new co-worker or a neighbor. Focus on getting to know who your date is and see how it goes from there.

3. Do you know what you want?

Probably, you know for sure what you DON’T want. In your past relationships, you've probably experienced some negativities (too much alcohol, too casual with money, explosive temper, disinterest or cheating… There's a lot to take in.), which you don't want to go through all over again, right? Whether you’ve had bad experiences or not: None of us is attracted to the idea of problems that make us sad, lonely, or both. Yet, we all run into them from time to time. Stay true to your principles. Be clear on what qualities and traits your partner should have. And shift your focus on everything that does not affect your happiness-barometer. It may be your idea of how he or she looks like, what education or way of life they have - or something else entirely. It's you who's in charge of what's important and what's not, by saying yes to dates - also to those you'd instantly skip.

Open up. It’s just a date!

4. Look forward - not backward

If you don't have children with your ex-boyfriend, husband, or wife, or you've ended up as best friends, then it's just about the perfect time to get him or her out of the system. It goes for a whole range of ex's that you are emotionally stuck on as if they had long tentacles that could keep on burning you over and over again. Stop comparing your new, potential partner with your old flame which you’ve framed in that picture-perfect; cos we do tend to hold on to good memories only and forget all the bad ones. Look forward - not backward. Start your very own clean up by deleting wrecked connections from your social media and by removing old things, photos, and other stuff from your home. Thus, you create space for something new - also mentally - and you will be ready to move on.

5. Hold on to your sense of reality

You're daydreaming - violins are playing in your head, waves are washing against the shore, and there comes your lover (in a slow-mo), promising you eternal happiness, security, wealth, and some divine sex. And then you look back at your screen and - PUFF: The rather ordinary man or woman is smiling back at you, cos you’re here, stuck in your reality and not in some vintage Hollywood movie. Well, my point wasn't to tease you, but just to remind you of how important it is to stand with both feet on the ground. Love at first sight happens very rarely, the chemistry can be good from the start, but it will usually take much more than just an intense eye contact over an espresso. Spend some time getting to know your date (if he or she happens to be worthy of it), and realign your expectations with your reality.

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